A trip into Upside Down Hell

“Hi! I’ve got a puncture, can you come pick me up asI can’t feel my fingers and I’m not sure I’ll be able to change this tyre?”

Silence on the other end of the phone …

then

“Erm, we’re kind of busy as we’ve got some riders up here shaking involuntarily, and then there’s another group in the café on the top of the Lauteret who need some warm clothes as well, so it might take a while to get to you”

Oh

Shit

…

Better get on and try to change this tyre then.

Let’s rewind a little.

Climbing the Col du Télégraphe

We’d left that morning from Saint Michel de Maurienne on the first day of a four-day tour into the Southern Alps (a maxed out version of our Southern Alps tour). 

We set off in good spirits, despite the drizzle that was falling as we turned onto the lower slopes of the Col du Telegraph. A few slower riders had set off earlier with the plan to all arrive at the top of the Col du Galibier at a similar time.  We made good pace up the Telegraph and down into Valloire.

I had mis-remembered the climb from Valloire out along the valley to Plan Lachet and had it in my head that it was kind of a false flat. As the rain got heavier the realization hit that this ‘false flat’ was more like 6-8% gradients all the way. But the views made up for it and we tapped out the road towards the turn up the wall to the higher plateau. 

From the road to Plan Lachet

The rain became heavier but it didn’t bother us too much as we were climbing. Even the headwind that hit us when we turned after the first hairpin after Plan Lachet turned into a nice tailwind after the following bend.  

Above Plan Lachet

We passed a few intrepid bike packers who were on their way to Briançon, and I didn’t envy them climbing the upper slopes of the Galibier with their fully laden bikes.  The kms kept ticking over and we were soon into the snowfields near the summit. We knew the very top was closed due to the massive amounts of snow that had fallen so we would be passing through the tunnel.

Galibier Snow Walls

Even without getting to right to the top, the snow walls were mightily impressive. The weather was getting worse and worse but the climbing kept us warm until we arrived at the van, parked just before the tunnel.  I put on every single item of clothing I had and we set off into the darkness.

What we found on the other side was a cold, wet, windy version of hell (so basically the complete opposite of hell but you get the idea).

We descended slowly through the cloud. Glasses on meant being blinded by the instant film of rain on the lenses, glasses off meant eyeballs blasted by the icy rain.  Decisions, decisions …

After a glacially slow descent I passed the café on the Col de Lauteret. I hadn’t seen a single other rider from our group after the tunnel. Self-preservation meant I pushed on down the Lauteret to try to get to a warmer altitude.

About 2 km later I thought I felt something wrong with the bike. It felt like the early stages of a rear flat. I tried to ignore it, hoping it would disappear. But it got more and more evident that yep, I had a rear puncture.

I pulled over in a handy layby and examined the problem. Normally changing a tube is a 5-minute job, but I was frozen, my teeth were chattering, my gloves were soaked, and my hands were numb.

One of our group spotted me and kindly stopped to see if he could help, but he too was in a similar state to me, so I told him to push on, as I would call the van to come save me. Little did I know what was going on further up the mountain …

Ultimately, we all got off the mountain safe and sound, but it was a very good reminder about quite how bad things can get at such high altitude, even in the very middle of the summer.

We still had 3 days left of the trip, and the weather didn’t really improve on day 2 …